The Road to Perdition is Paved with What?

We’re more than halfway through our summer and of our year 2020. Which, if any, of your New Years’ resolutions are still pending? What changes do you still want to make? How can you make this year better than last? Yes, I am aware that this is a most unusual year, due to circumstances beyond our control.  Nonetheless, with respect to much of how you view your journey through life, there is still a lot that you can shape, create and achieve, moment by precious moment. The choice is yours.

In his song, Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes, Jimmy Buffet sings “Yesterday is over my shoulder, so I can’t look back for too long, there’s too much to see waiting in front of me and I know that I just can’t go wrong.”  To me, these words are powerful because they reflect a forward-looking and positive perspective.  According to Brian Tracy in his Personal Success program, successful people think about what they want, most of the time.  What are you thinking about most of the time?

There are times when a nagging feeling causes us to make a change in our lives.  Sometimes it takes a major event like an accident, divorce, job loss or an illness to shake us to an awakening of the fact that something in our lives needs to change.  Whatever the catalyst, we know that something must change; yet we often don’t know what it is or how to transform it.

For example, I often deal with clients who are unhappy with their job or profession.  They come to me thinking that what they want is a new career. After working together for a while, we find that this is not what they want at all.  When we determine ways to get to the real issues and tweak what they are doing not only professionally, but also personally, it brings them to a place of happiness and satisfaction in their lives.

We frequently fool ourselves into thinking that we need a major change in latitude, when what we really need is a change in attitude. Having the courage to look at things from another perspective, one in which you take back your power is the key to waking up to a life that inspires you, and a life that reflects authenticity and passion.

When we relinquish our power, we often feel betrayed, taken advantage of, or simply pushed beyond our limits.  We give away our power when we hold onto disempowering beliefs such as:

  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t matter
  • There is something wrong with me
  • I am a victim
  • I don’t trust myself to do the right thing
  • I need to please her
  • I need his approval and validation
  • I don’t really want to have boundaries with him
  • I am intimidated by her
  • I will say “yes” to them (but I really desire to say no)
  • These people run my life and that’s just how it is

There are many reasons why you do these things.  Perhaps it’s because you want to avoid confrontation, or you doubt yourself, or you think it’s your responsibility to take care of everything and everyone around you.

The good news is that you can resign from your position as “Master of the Universe” by navigating your journey of life from a position of strength rather than weakness.  How would it feel to operate from a place of alignment of your head and your heart?

Take on your new, powerful role in the world by gaining the courage to show up as your true self.  Don’t apologize or hold back who you are or what you want.  This doesn’t mean being pushy, inconsiderate or insensitive; in fact, quite the opposite.  When we speak our truth, honor our sensitivity and believe in ourselves, we come from a place of love rather than a place of fear, and we begin to interact with the world in a different way.  How do we create this reality for ourselves?

  • See yourself as a whole, spirited being with your own best answers.  Wayne Dyer says that we are not human beings seeking a spiritual existence, but the opposite.  When you know this, you know that you have access to all of the information you need.
  • Say no with grace.  Being firm but nice is the key. Say no when you mean it and stick with it.
  • Ask for what you need and want.  This is the beginning of a solid self-care plan.  Having your needs met allows you to bring your best to the world.
  • Recognize your accomplishments.  Use your own yardstick to measure your successes!  You don’t need the validation of anyone else.  You know you best.
  • Relinquish your responsibility for the paths of others.  Acknowledging that everyone has his/her own path is one of the most freeing things you can do for him or her and for you.
  • Practice detachment!  You can do this by observing other people’s behavior and situations in your life without attachment.
  • Speak your truth.

Here’s one final thought.  What if you decided today that you are the leader of your life?


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